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We just want a quickie

A Registry versus a Personalised ceremony

We just want a quick marriage ceremony – no fuss, no frills.

Lordy, lordy, lordy, it’s so hard to understand why two people wanting to get married just want a quickie, a 5 minute job – doing themselves out of exploring and experiencing their love journey. Is it because of money? Is it because you’re shy? Is it because you can’t be faffed? Is it because you just want to cut to the chase and get the party going? Isn't your love worth more than a quickie?

Having said all that, I can understand why some couples are opting for a Registry Ceremony given time and budget restrictions and also gathering family who may be overseas. A Registry Ceremony is exactly what was once available at your local courthouse and is now done in the community by VCANZ celebrants. These are validated celebrants from NZ's only professional association and who are approved by the Registrar-General. There is a standard script with standard vows and the whole process will take no more than 15 minutes including signing documents.

However, it’s quick to say I ABC take you DEF to be my XYZ and for me to say I pronounce you to be married. Having a Personalised ceremony gives you so much more scope in date, time and place and also content.

Actually getting married is a BIG DEAL. It’s one of life’s biggest deals. You’re choosing to be together as life partners – in all it’s guises, legal and personal – through the calm and storm. Marriage ain’t for the faint hearted. A personalised ceremony will take about 25 minutes, give or take - it goes very quickly.

Once the foreplay and heat have been well and truly worked over, the anchors that will always hold you together remain love, friendship and laughter. Without these, your union will be rocky.

You may have been together for a while, ‘living in sin’ as it used to be known. Being married is different from ‘living together’. Because marriage is anchored with promises and vows, made in front of witnesses and often family and friends.

Forgive me, I may have blinkers on being a marriage celebrant. Playing safe, avoiding life’s pointy bits will cheat you of growth and riches. A competent celebrant will give you a truly personal experience, one that may surprise you and enrich the depth of your love.

May you be brave, take heart and own your own ceremony - your love story truthfully reflected. Don't settle for anything less.